Navi in Boots
by DiRTy-LaRrY
Summary: Navi the fairy. Our most annoying character. What happens if she was actually helpful? Parody of Puss in Boots, with more action and more dialogue. R&R [oneshot]


**My inspiration came from Alantie Mistaniu who was talking about fairy tales. I decided to bags Puss in Boots, and changed it into Navi in Boots. It is now 2 am in the morning. I just finished a raw copy, but I'm publishing it anyway. So have fun with this unedited un betad version. G'day.**

Navi in Boots...

Once there was a young boy, Link, who was a miller's son. The miller was a kindly man, and his attitudes toward others influenced Link, who grew up to be a cheerful, and caring young man. Whenever the miller and his son went out to their windwill, they would spare grain for the beggars and the families that needed the grain the most. Because of this they were very poor, and the meagre income they eked out of their granary was only enough for them to own the clothes on their back, and a half-full stomach.

The miller had seen much in his lifetime; as a young man he had trained as a soldier, and risen through the ranks. In an earlier era, he was an unsung hero, a true master of the blade, but because of the horrors of the wars he'd seen, the miller had given up his sword and taken to helping to feed the hungry mouths of others. Nevertheless, he felt that Link should learn the ways of the sword, should he ever need to use a weapon to defend himself.

The miller hoped that all his lessons with the sword would go to waste, and he strongly ground into Link the fact that his sword should only be used to defend himself. Every lesson was an exhausting exercise, and the end results were that Link would be tired from his work at the granary and his sword practice, and he would always immediately go to sleep, with his father speaking into his ear as his eyes closed and he fell into a deep slumber.

"You should never kill anyone, Link...killing. It wrecks the soul, and with every kill, it will become easier for you to take a life. So remember, don't take away someone's life, because someone else will try to take your life away, and then you will live with the knowledge that you hve ruined someone else's life, and that your own life has now been ruined."

Those words would follow Link to sleep every night. He would contemplate them every night, and remember them, until he always remembered to never kill anyone, and only act to fight in self-defence.

When the miller died, all Link was left with was a jar. It wasn't any old jar; it was the miller's gfood luck charm. The miller had kept it in his pocket for good fortune, and always had it with him when he prayed. Now, it was Link's, and he was rather curious as to what the jar was, besides a charm of good fortune. At first sight, it appeared empty, but when Link examined it more closely, he was amazed to find that there was a tiny little person in there. She had little wings, and seemed to radiate a glowing blue colour. Link could see that she had been cramped into the small jar, and watched, as she turned away from him, and cried.

She must be crying because she's so alone, and she can't get out, Link thought to himself, so maybe I should left her out. He twisted the lid off the jar, and the person flew out, slowly, as though testing her wings for the first time.

"Who are you?" the person asked. "Why did you let me out?" This person had a very sweet voice, and was definitely a girl. She seemed afraid of him for some reason, and even one step toward her caused her to fly away in a panic.

"My name is Link. I work at the granary, like my father before me." Link answered to the little girl. "What's your name?"

"Navi. My name is Navi." the little person said. "I'm a fairy...why did you let me out?" Link smiled, and held out his hand for her to rest on. Uncertainly, she landed cautiously, as though afraid that he would bite her or kill her.

"You seemed so alone, and unhappy. So I decided to let you out. Are you alright?" Link asked, for Navi was crying again.

"It's just that I have been sealed away in that jar for so long, that I have forgotten what it's like to be free." Navi sobbed, tears too small to be seen running down her cheeks.

"Why were you in that jar?" Link asked, curious.

"I was looking for a place to sleep in. I found the jar, and squeezed myself inside." Navi said softly. "When I woke up the next morning, I was caught inside and I coudln't get out. I was in someone's pocket, I realised. I tried to get him to let me out, but he could never see me."

"Why?" asked Link, perplexed.

"I think he has killed before." Navi aswered, sitting down in Link's hand. "Those who have killed cannot see me. Anyone who has taken a life cannot see a fairy. But we still try to make their lives better."

"And so you made my father's life better?"

"Yes. Was the man who kept me your father?"

"Yes, he died recently." Link allowed a tear drop to fall from his eyes, and was surprised when Navi flew up and tried to dry one from his face. She looked at him sadly, and flew back into the palm of his hand.

"I'm very sorry." Navi asnwered softly. From what Link could see, Navi was a very soft-spoken person. "But it was very kind of you to let me out of the jar. Perhaps I could help you, for being such a wonderful person..." She whispered the last sentence to herself, very quietly, so that Link did not hear it.

And so it was that Link went back to the granary, and Navi parted her ways with him. But instead of going back to her home, Navi flew to the Royal Court of Hyrule, and there, chose to become visible to the human eye, by casting a spell on herself. She donned a pair of boots, though she had no idea why and a flowing dress, and she met the King, to whom she offered her services as a harpist and a singer.

The Royal Court was soon enraptured by the sweet voice of their newest singer, and Navi's harping skills became legendary throughout the Court. There would be many days where an official with no business at the Court whatsoever would ride thousands of miles to hear her singing. And all the time, Link worked at the granary and gave grain to the needy.

While Navi played, however, she learnt that the King and his daughter, the lovely Princess Zelda, usually took carriage rides along the lake road, near to Link's house in the morning. So, one day, Navi came back to Link as a fairy and told him to take his clothes off and bath in the lake. While he was bathing, she stole his clothes, and transformed back into a human. Then, she waited for the King to pass...

But, alas! The King did not come, for this was a day where the King opted to walk in the Courtyard, instead. Thus, Navi gave back link's clothes, and, when the next day came, she told him to bath in the lake again. He obeyed her command, and while he was bathing, Navi hid his clothes. Again. And then she waited for the King and his daughter. And, this time, they came.

"Your Majesty!" Navi prostrated herself before the King. "My Master, the Duke of the Plains, has been robbed. He has been standing in that lake, too embarassed to move without clothes, for the robbers have robbed him of his wardrobe!"

"What?" the King cried. "He shall have the finest robes that I can offer!" With that, the King clapped his hands, and a servant rushed off to find clothes for the Duke. When the servant arrived again, Link was dressed, and with the King's clothes on, he looked very handsome indeed.

"May I introduce, the Duke of the Plains, Lord Link Forrester." Navi said quietly, bowing to Link. Link suddenly felt a force grip him, and force him downward, into a bow, and his tongue move of its own accord.

"Your Majesty, it is an honour to be in your presence." Link said, though it was not Link talking. "I feel grateful that you would lend me your robes to dress me in."

Link by now managed to gain control of his mouth, and added to his former speech, "I would like to have some private council with my servant who owes my...gratitude, for saving me from such an embarassing situation."

With that, Link pulled Navi aside, and asked her what was happening.

"I promised I would help you Link, and want to see you rise through to gain the honour you deserve. The world needs more people like you." Navi said quietly to him.

"But to make me a Duke? A Lord? Navi, what? And how did you become a human?" Link asked.

"I can do many things, Link. Do not fret over me. Go and enjoy your new title." Navi whispered, and then pushed him toward the King's carriage, where the King and his daughter were waiting.

"Lord Forrester, would you accompany us for a carriage ride?" the King asked.

"Pardon, mi'lord? You wish me to accompany you?" Link asked, somehow reciting lines from fairytales his father had told him long ago. "Though I feel unworthy of such an honour, if Your Majesty wishes it so, then I shall accompany you." Upon finishing his speech, Link stepped into the carriage, and sat next to the King, who had offered him a seat next to him.

"So, Lord Forrester?" A different, but definitely female voice addressed him as he entered the carriage. "It is an honour to make your acquaintance." Link looked up, and was momentarily stunned by the beauty of the girl in front of him. Long flowing, golden hair, encircled by a band of silver, with the mark of Royalty on the front of it, as her blue eyes gazed back at him. The young girl's heart shaped face, and slim figure emphasised as to how much of a beautiful Princess she was. Even though Link had thought himself handsome, his opinion of himself had dropped very low upon gazing at this girl.

"You're very handsome, I must say." The girl giggled. "Even with your mouth slightly ajar." Link suddenly realised that his mouth was open, and quickly closed it, hoping he hadn't offended anyone. But the King just joined in with the girl, and so Link let out a weak laugh, just to make sure he was laughing with the King, and not without him.

This girl, thought Link, She's so beautiful. I've never seen anyone so pretty, or so lovely. Who is she?

"I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself. My name is Zelda. Princess Zelda of the Harkinian Royal Family." the girl smiled and offered her hand to Link. Link recalled a scene where the Prince kissed the hand of one of the ladies while kneeling, and made an attempt to replicate the action, without fumbling or spitting saliva all over her gloved hand. Again, however, the Princess laughed at him, causing him to flush again.

"My, one who courts in the traditional way." Zelda giggled, then withdrew her hand. Link tried to rise form his kneel, however, he found that getting up smoothly in a moving carriage was difficult, and collapsed rather clumsily into the seat he had been on earlier. "Why, you're so much like me! Clumsy!" Zelda offered again, muffling her giggle slightly, while the King laughed again, for he seemed to like laughing. Link just gave another weak chuckle, when suddenly, the blue eyes of the Princess met his own.

Ahh...you're very handsome. Blue eyed, wild hair, accentuated muscly body, and slightly clumsy. Yet very open, if you are hiding something. Link could hear the Princess' voice in his mind, and nearly started in shock at her mental intrusion into his thoughts. I know you aren't a Duke of any kind, only a miller.

So then, why don't you turn me in? He thought, and was answered again, in his mind.

If I did, my father would execute you and your friend. I don't want to see anyone die. So, I won't tell, and I will try and help you out of this. Besides, I do like you a little. The Princess' voice said inside his mind, causing Link's face to suddenly burn. The Princess gave another giggle.

"My, the Lord Forrester looks so adorable when he blushes!" Was the only thing the Princess said while she laughed, and again, the King laughed.

I seem to be doing many things over and over again, Link thought. First, I have to strip, and then wait a whole day naked in a lake, and then do it again. Now I have to laugh at myself alongside a King and Princess. Again.

Meanwhile, Navi was flying as fast as she could to where she thought the king might pass on his trip today. As far as she knew, the King would pass by the Palace of Griefe, a Lord of wizardry and with unsurpassed sword skills. Many had accused him of foul deeds, and all of them had mysteriously perished. If she could somehow get rid of him...

When Navi spotted some workers in the field, she called out of them "You must say that you work for the Duke of the Plains, or the spirits will come and find you, and destroy you in your sleep!"

No one could see Navi, for she was masquerading in her fairyfor, and that made her very hard to see . She was shouting as loud as she could, so all the workers heard it, and were very afraid, and when Navi repeated her command, and the doom that would fall upon the people should they refuse to say the words, they all, terrified yelled out to what they believed to be ghosts in the air that they would follow those orders.

Navi resumed her flight and soon arrived at the Palace of Griefe. There, she walked in, ignoring the many monsters, and guards that she saw, though she did shed a tear when she saw a slave being whipped harshly by one of the officers of Griefe. Instead, she appeared in Griefe's Study, and greeted him. There, she offered her services as a harpist and vocalist, and sang a song so sweet that Griefe was entranced. He was a very large man, full of sinews and muscle, but even with his masterful wizardry and skillful swordsmanship, he could not resits the allure of the voice of Navi. Or so she thought...

Suddenly, Griefe, who had been following Navi as she lulled him away from the Study, he grabbed her hair, and she cried out, as he brought a dagger to her neck.

"I have you now, you soceress!" Griefe said, grinning evilly. "You shall spend your days entertaining me with your music and working for my benefit!"

The Royal Carriage passed by some worker's in the field, who suddenly called out, "Our Services are to the Duke of the Plains, Your Majesty! We are honoured to see you!" The King looked, astonished, at Link, who tried to smile nonchalantly.

He's surpised that so many peasants work under you, the Princess' voice intoned in his mind. Your friend really is doing her utmost to make this lie become reality.

"What do you think of peasants, Princess?" Link asked suddenly, deciding to make the conversation open to the King as well, instead of a conversaiton in his mind.

"Hmm...I do believe that peasant's are good people born into lesser oppurtunity than myself. I would like to help them but..." The Princess voice trailed off slightly. "I do not have enough power to really make much difference in their lives."

"Zelda, you know that I can't help it, but there are other things I must do..."

"Father, I know. I merely just state the fact."

"I worked at a granary, to learn what it was like to work." Link said out loud, suddenly. "My father had worked at a granary at one stage in his life, and he wanted me to know what the common man felt every day. So, as a Lord, I felt it my duty to ensure that everyone else underneath me, everyone who served me, had enough food to eat."

"That is why people like you, is it not? M'lord?" The Princess asked. "Because you care about them?"

"You ask something that I do not know, Princess." Link offered a wan smile, then turned his head to look at the scenery outside the carriage. Suddenly, he picked up the sounds of screams of pain. He looked at the King, who was frowning. Evidently, the King had heard the screams too.

"Your Majesty, screaming!" Link said suddenly. "It's from the direction of the Palace! That Palace over there!" Link pointed at the Palace of Griefe. The King clapped his hands as he told the carriage driver to head toward the Palace. As they arrived, Link noticed many of the people were branded with a mark that said 'slave'. At this, Link was enraged; slavery was banned in the Kingdom, and the penalty for this heinous crime was a long imprisonment. A very long imprisonment.

"Who do you serve?" Link called out to the officers in charge of the slaves. "Answer, in the name of the King, or you'll all go to the dungeons of the King!" The slavers were surprised at Link's outburst, but it didn't stop them from drawing their swords and running at Link, in an atempt to decapitate him.

That atempt failed; Link caught the first slaver's sword hand, and used his other free hand to punch the man in the gut. He threw him into a second, and then kicked the off-balanced man between the legs, causing him to double over in pain. The third of the attackers, he smacked in the side of the neck, knocking him out. This show of strength frightened the slavers into admitting they were officers of Lord Griefe.

"And lo! And behold! Griefe is here with his hostage!" A booming voice snarled. Link turned, and let out a horrified gasp as he was that Griefe was holding Navi's body limpy in one hand. In the other was a massive sword that flashed deadly silver in the midday sunlight. "Or maybe hostage no more!" Link watched in horror as Griefe hurled Navi's body into a wall behind him, and heard a loud crash as the wall collapsed.

"Navi!" Link cried as Navi's body hit the wall. He felt powerless to stop it; she had died in an attempt to help him. And his debt to her would never be repaid, because she was dead. Dead trying to help me, he thought.

"Who are you, boy?" Griefe sneered, pointing his sword at Link.

"My name is Link Forrester. I'm the son of a miller in the Hyrule Castle area." Link said out loud, causing the Princess to look at thim in surprise. The King gasped, and pointed at him, his mouth trying to form words, but without sound passing through his throat. "You just killed a friend of mine. I do hope you'll pay for that. And you're also charged with slavery."

The King had given him a fine longsword earlier, and Link was eager to use it against Griefe. Drawing it, Link waited for Griefe to attack first. He did not wait long either.

Griefe lunged forward, smashing his sword onto Link's. They collided, and Link was forced backward. Griefe's strength was amazing; at every encounter, where blade crashed on blade, Link was always pushed backward. But Griefe was tiring; the effort it took to wield his sword, which was very large, and bulky, and to swing that hard was exerting a great toll on Griefe, and Link managed to dodge one of his ttacks and stab Griefe.

Even if Griefe was wounded, he still fought mercilessly, and Link was again forced to meet his blade with Griefe's. The ring of metal again sounded as they collided, when Griefe aimed a punch at Link. Link ducked underneath it, but Griefe's knee slammed into his face, sending him sprawling. As Griefe rushed toward him to kill him, Link threw his sword at Griefe's neck. His arm was good, and his aim true; the sword spun, and the blade cut through Griefe's neck, killing him. Until...

"What! What is this?" Link watched as the corpse re-animated itself. Suddenly, a blaze of darkness burst from the corpse of Griefe, and morped into a great beast of darkness.

"Hah! You're pretty good, to have killed my body. But I'll show you my powers of socery now!" Link realised that Griefe had revived his spirit, and become an evil spirit. And with no sword, Link would die...

CLUNK! Link saw the his longsword bury itself into the ground, and quickly picked it up. Griefe, however, just snarled, and a blade of darkness materialised in his hand. What appeared to be a grin appeared on his face.

"C'mon, kid. Show me what you've got." Link took a swipe at Griefe, inly to find that his attacks had no effect. Every slash did nothing to Griefe; he just laughed, and slashed at Link with his blade of darkness, causing a massive wound on link's chest. His flesh bubbled, and Link felt weak; in the bckground, he could hear Griefe laughing.

"Link! Link!" It was a voice...a girl's voice. Whose? Link couldn't tell. Link's eyes were blurry from the pain, and he couldn't see very well; he focussed, and realised that it was the Princess talking.

"Link! Are you alright?" The Princess asked worriedly. "I was...please, be careful." Link noticed that the Princess was crying and put his hnd out to try and wipe her tears away.

"Please, don't cry..." Link whispered. "I don't want to see you cry. It makes me sad. So don't cry." Link sat up again, his eyes trailign the figure of Griefe and his cesspool of darkness. Then, Link noticed his blade.

The sword was glowing bright blue; energy was radiating from it, and the air itself felt so hot that the air aroudn it caught on fire. Link nearly dropped the sword because of the heat, but he grimly held on, raising the blade, and directing a slash at Griefe. Griefe managed to dodge at the last second, but not without being hit by part of the wave of flames. Howling in shock as his unworldy form was caught by the cleansing flames, he held his burning side in pain.

Link looked at the blade, which, outlined in flaming letters, read 'All who are evil will be banished. All whose intentions are evil will be vanquished. This sword will seal away all the wrongs and hurts of this world. This sword has mastery over the world, for this sword is the Master Sword.' As the flames dissipated, so did the letterings, but the memory of the words was stuck in Link's mind.

How did the sword change like that? Link wondered. Maybe...her tears, did they change it somehow? Link's pondering was interupted by Griefe, who had just chrged at him again.

"How? How can you defeat me? I am undefeatable! Why, I can't just lose to someone like you! Dammit!" Griefe howled again, angered, but Link dodged his next attack, and ran at him, the force of Link's will igniting the flames of the blade once more. In one sweeping slash, he cleared through the spectre, defeating him once and for all, and leaving Link once more with wrecked clothing. Indeed, his pants were torn open, and revealed bruises and cuts, and his shirt had been slashed open by Griefe's sword of darkness.

"Link, or whatever your name is." The King's solemn voice rang out to Link, who turned his attention to him, besides the burning pain in his chest. "You have decieved me. Do you know the punishment for that? It's-"

"Father, no!" Zelda said suddenly. "Mr. Forrester just saved all those slaves and brought a criminal to justice! He saved our lives, most likely; Griefe's lust for power would have ended our lives here and now. Please, spare him...besides, I do like Mr. Forrester a lot...I don't want to see him die."

The King seemed to think for a while, then said out loud, "Well, I do need a new Lord here...so, Lord Forrester, do you still need a new wardrobe?"

"Yes, Your Majesty." Link answered. "However, I would like to make a correction to that wonderful speech the Princess made." Link approached the Princess, who tried to direct her gaze away as she blushed a deep shade of red, under his gaze.

"I didn't save your life, you saved mine." Link said, causing the Princess to look at him, surprised. "If you weren't there, my sword wouldn't have changed at all, and I would have had no chance against Griefe. So thank you, Zelda." Link whispered her name, as, to the surprise of the King, and to Zelda, he enclosed her in an embrace, lifting her slightly off her feet. "And if it makes you feel any better, I really like you too..."

Suddenly, a coughing sound could be heard from the rubble where Navi had fallen. The rocks covering her exploded, and Navi emerged in her human form. She walked toward Link, touching the wound on his chest, and Link watched, amazed, as the torn flesh repaired itself, and the black marks and bruises disappeared. Then Link looked down...and saw...

"Navi...you're wearing boots?" Link asked.

"You go girl!" Zelda said, amused by the informality of the language.

Navi laughed lightly, then said with a smile, "Link, my mission was to bring you good fortune. I do believe I have fulfilled my objective." It was then that Link noticed Navi was disappearing, fading slowly away. I've killed someone, he realised, so soon I won't be able to see her.

"It was fun having this adventure with you. Even though this is goodbye, maybe someday we will meet again." Navi said as she faded into thin air. "And Link, your father says not to worry, because you acted in self-defence."

"Huh? Father? Father!" But it was too late. What may have been a means of talking with his now deceased father hd vanished with Navi, leaving Link to stare at the ground in silence. "I hope...Navi, that we can see each other one day, and talk as friends again, with my father."

Link gazed at Zelda, realising that it wasn't just the fact that she was a Princess, or a beautiful woman that had drawn him to her. It was the fact that she cared about him, and that he cared about her, and her happiness, that meant...it meant.

It meant that he liked her. That at least was obvious. Smiling, he returned to her, and together they returned back to the castle, in silence, enjoying the comfort of one another, while the King decided to chat with the carriage driver for no apparent reason.

**Kinky title, crappy story? R&R, and flame! I do not care! JUST REVIEW!**


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